by Lori Deschene
“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” -James Joyce
When you were little, did you ever rip up a picture you’d worked really hard on just because you colored a little out of the lines?
Or throw away a dish ( trial of a new recipe) which we tried hard to prepare, just because it didn’t turn out well.
We all have perfectionist instincts because this has been a pattern in our life: start something and quit if we think we’ve messed it up.
Last week I wrote about the beauty of starting over, but as with everything in life, it’s not universally applicable. Sometimes we need to start fresh, but sometimes we need to keep going, through the messiness and imperfection. I haven’t always done this well.
When I’ve made huge mistakes with friends, I’ve wanted to hide or bail. When I’ve messed up royally with jobs, I’ve wanted to call in sick or quit.
It can feel vulnerable to be present in a situation where you feel you’re struggling or not showing yourself in the best light, but this is how we grow: by stretching ourselves through discomfort instead of shutting down.
This is how we get closer to others, closer to our dreams, and closer to the people who we want to be with. It’s how we learn about ourselves and identify areas for improvement.
Things are going to feel messy and imperfect lots of times in life. We can either resist that and run whenever things feel out of control, or lean into the mistakes and learn from every one and everything.